The Amazing Tale of the Signless
by pigport101
Summary: The signless goes on an epic quest to gain religious followers, rebel against the empress, make marriage legal, and marry a cat lady.


*Okay first off I should say that this is at least 3000%% more hilarious when read through some text-to-speech thing.*

*Also this is the first fanfiction I ever wrote and its really cool*

Once upon a time there was a dude. He was called the signless. This is because he had no sign on his shirt. Another thing he was lacking was a wife. On the signless' planet you are not allowed to marry. This made the signless sad because it was against the law. But no law is going to stop the signless. Not on my watch. The signless was going to get a wife no matter what. The signless walked out of his cave and looked at the valley beyond. The sun had just begun to rise. The signless knew this would be a wifelicious day.

In the distance the signless saw a cat girl and a yellow dude. He wanted to marry the cat girl because she is a girl and girls like to marry. He walked towards the cat girl and the yellow dude and got on one knee. He asked the cat girl to marry him. The cat girl said no it is against the law. The yellow dude said yeah.

The signless said they would make it from a law to a not law. The yellow dude said how do we make it a not law. The signless said they would make a petition and collect thousands of signatures. The cat girl said no lets just do a rebellion. Yellow guy said what is a rebellion. Cat girl said it is when you stop the law dudes from doing laws. Then there will be nothing that says you can't marry. Then the signless said yay. So if we do a rebellion I can marry you? Cat girl said yes. Yellow dude said alright let's do a rebellion sweet.

The signless said first they should ask the empress if they could marry. Maybe she will give us special permission. Later the signless and cat girl and yellow dude were at the empress's palace. They knocked on the door and the empress opened it. The signless asked if he could marry cat girl. The empress said hahahaha nope there is no way you're marrying that girl unless you gain 10,000 followers to help you. The signless said hehehehehehehe I will get 10,000 followers and marry cat girl. You will see.

The signless prepared speeches so he could speech the speeches at hundreds of areas around the planet. The yellow dude prepared their travels. He charted courses and plotted maps and measured coordinates and a whole lot of other sweet stuff. The cat girl prepared her wedding for after the rebellion. They gathered their stuff and went on a rad voyage royale to conquer their marriage problems.

Later they arrived at the first stop. A few young trolls who wanted to marry as well gathered around the signless and listened to his speeches. The little trolls had never heard any speeches as swag as these. They agreed to be the first followers of the signless. He was very pleased. The signless and the cat girl and the yellow dude traveled around the planet in search of followers to help with the rebellion. As they ventured on their quest, hundreds of young trolls came from far and wide to listen to the inspiring speeches of the signless. The signless was very happy about all the followers. But the empress was not. She wanted the follower thing to stop being a thing that existed.

The sneaky little empress sent out swarms of her most powerful legislacerators and expatriates to stop the speeches of the signless. The yellow dude used his awesome 3d eyesight to see the enemies coming from far away. It was in the third dimension and it was really cool. The yellow dude warned the signless and the cat girl about the attackers. The signless used his sweet megaphone voice ultimate attack to speak to all the trolls on the planet at once. He told them to come listen to the inspiring speeches of the signless. He told them to help him in his awesome rebellion. He told them if they came they would be allowed to marry. And so all the little trolls came.

Hundreds of thousands of trolls migrated across the wilderness. But the rebellion of the signless was not yet complete. He did not yet have the 10,000 followers needed to finish his quest. The signless only had 9,999 followers. The signless did not say yay. This was no heheheing matter. The signless said oh no. The remaining followers were on their way. But so were the evil legislacerators and expatriates. The enemies landed at the speech of the signless. The signless said oh no the cat lady said oh dear the yellow dude said oh shit this is not good.

The yellow dude could see the other followers coming from the distance. But the trolls did not have enough time to arrive. The head expatriate stood in front of the signless and the cat lady and the yellow dude. The Expatriate took out his sweet bow and rad arrows and pointed them at the signless. The signless said oh shit oh shit oh shit please don't kill me. The expatriate said okay then I will not kill you. The signless said oh shit that is a good thing. The Expatriate said you are going to jail. The signless said oh shit.

The legislacerators and their extreme congressional intellect did nothing. The lead legislacerator named Redglare said that they would all be proven GUILTY anyways. The Expatriate grabbed the signless and the cat lady and the yellow dude and went off to the slammer. The yellow dude was simply astonished at how the Expatriate could lift them all at once. He said oh shit that dude is strong.

The swarm of legislayterators and expatriates locked them in their cells. Later the followers of the signless came to visit him. The signless was sad about his rebellion failure. Now he could not marry cat lady, and no one could marry anyone. He was so close to defeating the evil laws of the empress. The cat girl offered to marry the signless in jail. He said but that is illegal. Cat lady said but we are already in jail. The signless agreed to finally marry cat girl. But what about the other trolls? They will not marry. Yes, but they were all inspired by your rad rebellion. Maybe someday the flushed quadrant will be legal. Maybe someday the quadrants will be full again. The signless thought that would be good. He gave the cat lady a totally awesome kiss and they lived happily ever after in jail.

THE END.


End file.
